On Letting Go.
Ive been home for two months, and my step father seems to not even acknowledge im around. Its wierd, because I havent done anything to have pissed him off. Ive come to the conclusion, that we will never have a relationship. Im fine with that. I mean getting picked up by the throat in mid air, getting my face smashed into the floor as he hit me in the face, scrapping my 2nd degree sunburn off my back and telling me i will grow up to be like my real father, lazy and a faggot, I tell him that I wouldnt give a shit, and him punching me in the mouth. Like, its hard not to remember that stuff, and not want to hold a grudge. Ive tried my hardest to have a relationship with him, and he just closes the door. But after two months of him not even saying anything to me, going to my uncles house warming party and looking at his friends wierd, because they have beards, and handlebar mustaches. Then leaving 10 mins later. Im just letting it go. As I leave monday, he will be at work, so I wont even be able to tell him bye. As much as he pisses me off, Id like to tell him bye. But it is what it is. Im doing my own things. Funny thing is, I have a 18 year old brother, and he still makes him give him “hugs and kisses”. lol. Thats on that gay shit. lol. But im about to be 25, have a daughter. I have someone else that I can breathe the same air with, and share stories. I cant forget that, stop getting so wrapped up in trying to keep ties with my family and focus on keeping the strongest tie with my daughter. Shes finally old enough to tell me she loves me more. And im cool with that.